Rebirth of a Legend

My brothers, the time has come for sorrow to let out it's death cry and for happiness to come real. What was once lost has now been found.

Ask away on what the source of this joy may be. I too was in the dark when the news was originally sprung upon me. You see, an associate of mine had called me late last evening whilst I was enjoying a vigorous round of the "Bull's-Eye Barbecue Sauce" LCD game (On a side note, this is easily the most intense LCD experience ever based on a barbecue sauce, so you can fuck right off, Ken Davis). Her exact words of greeting were, "You, my friend, are about to cream your knickers." An arrogant claim like none heard before, so I angrily inquired as to what she was speaking of.

"Tom Selleck has shaved himself from the neck down and is selling the hair on EbayThere is a new Little Caesars restaurant about to open not a mile away from your home!" she replied. Upon verifying the new location with my own eyes not long afterwards, my friend's initial boast proved quite correct.

Caesar's mighty empire once reigned over my local area during the early 90's, but later on dwindled due to the foolishness of the pizza buying public. Their forces were then scattered to the most nether reigons of the state of Minnesota, holding down one establishment in the remote land "Winona" as well as another in the dread city of "St. Cloud," in addition to two lonely K-Mart Little Caesars Pizza Stations elsewhere (Although it is highly debatable as to whether these should be held in the same esteem as a dedicated establisment).

It is no short distance between my place of living and these last outposts of fine taste, but you can rest assured I have made many journeys to all of them when The Hunger set in. This became something of a curse eventually, as in my greatest states of The Hunger I found myself on the verge of horrible acts. The limbs of the average passerby would appear as Crazy Bread to my tired eyes, the blood that flowed through their veins being the delicious Crazy Sauce.

But no longer will I have to journey far to fill my empty stomach with Crazy Bread. No longer will strangers close their blinds as I draw near, fearing the blood of their loved ones shall be spilled to satisfy The Hunger. I was a young one when mighty Caesar first held fort in St. Paul, and as they had my support then they will have it ten fold now. The new age has begun, my friends. Let us embrace it.

The following song is dedicated to Little Caesar's Pizza and all those who make it possible.

Wild is the Wind
Words and music by Dimitri Tiomkin and Ned Washington

Love me, love me, love me, say you do
Let me fly away with you
For my love is like the wind, and wild is the wind
Wild is the wind
Give me more than one caress, satisfy this hungriness
Let the wind blow through your heart
For wild is the wind, wild is the wind

You touch me, I hear the sound of mandolins
You kiss me
With your kiss my life begins
You're spring to me, all things to me
Don't you know, you're life itself

Like the leaf clings to the tree,
Oh, my darling, cling to me
For we're like creatures of the wind, and wild is the wind
Wild is the wind

Like the leaf clings to the tree,
Oh, my darling, cling to me
For we're like creatures in the wind, and wild is the wind

Wild is the wind (x4)

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