SweetBeetsy's Stud Report

Hey girls! This is SweetBeetsy. While I've never read Sweetbee's Game Hive, I know it's reputation as a cesspool of wall to wall tit pics and big booty sex fantasies. I'm sure you're all pretty sick of it. And if you're like me, you're probably also sick of the so called pretty boy sex symbols that hog all the attention from the media, while the REAL MEN of Hollywood get ignored. So here's a certified big beef cookout for all you hungry ladies out there. No calves here, only rough, masculine steers.


Someone better call the USDA, 'cause this hunka-hunka burning beefcake is on the loose, and he's sure to give you a Mad Cow disease of a different kind. Word is when Grodin isn't toning his immaculate six pack or grimacing in front of a mirror in self admiration, he's roaming the streets of Hollywood showing modern dud "studs" what is and what's for. Here's an up-to-date listing of our leathery Lothario's triumphs:

BRAD PITT: Defeated by Grodin a mere 13 seconds in to an impromptu flex-off.
STATUS: The only six pack this fug monster's sporting these days is of Shasta.

JAKE GYLENHALL: Left lung crushed into burger patty by Grodin at a private McDonalds.
STATUS: Gasping for air, grasping for his ego (Sorry, pal. It's gone).

ASHTON KUTCHER: Grodin saw him on TV one night and wished for his death.
STATUS: Dead, probably (hopefully).

Now 71 years old, Charlie is still Grodinizing assholes at every opportunity. Doubters are shown the truth in the most brutal way imaginable.


Dream a little dream... of Clint! Breaking AOOOGA meters everywhere, this finely aged manimal can only be set out to pasture when he damn well says so. However, even with his masculine swagger and steely gaze, what girls really love about Eastwood is his ground breaking humanitarian work.

"I saw him at a party," said an anonymous tipster, "everyone thought he was drunk, but really he was just in a higher plane of awareness. I saw it with my own eyes. He mistook Lindsay Lohan for a rack of ribs and devoured her."

Sources say that when Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis notified him of what he had done, Clint pulled out a musket and blasted him point blank in the face. On the Beefcake Scale of Manliness, Eastwood pulls in a Minotaur ranking.



Cyndi has cute back fat in the music video for the Goonies song. I want to go back in time and lick her eyelids.


I had a dream once, and she was naked in it. I wasn't attracted to her before then. Does anyone reading this know her address?


"Hello, Sweetbee? This is the FBI."


"Yeah, this is the creepiest shit we've ever read. It needs to stop."

Dang. Sorry.

Whew, THAT got a little weird, huh? Well then, back to the studs, and not a moment too soon!


Harrison may have stepped out of the limelight in recent years, but you'd be the fool to disregard this Henry. When he's not just sitting around distressing denim with his man-monster, he's hard at work on his own homemade electric chair "just for kicks."

"I was arrested for knocking out Ben Affleck's teeth, would've been... 3 years ago." Ford recollects. "They wanted me to pay a fine, but I said, 'No, you willowy fucks. Give me the chair.' And you know what? They did. And you know what else? It felt good."

It seems his good looks aren't the only thing that's electrifying! Oh, the thrill of it!


This wiry one may seem thin and frail, but make no mistake; he's two scoops of stone cold butch and may anyone who says otherwise shatter their skull on his rock hard abs. Rumor is, Oldman is watching you from your window as we speak, and whoever presses the finest ham to the glass will be awarded his hand in marrage! Can you say hot-n-bothered, ladies? Because I know I can!

A true proponent of keeping it real, Oldman attributes his acting ability to "eating shrooms until that shit is actually happening." Gary, you can be MY fifth element any day!


"Hey, FBI again. I thought we told you to knock it off."

You told Sweetbee to knock it off. Not me.


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