Lost Tales: Bill Paxton's Tru Thugz
Lost Tales:
Bill Paxton's Tru Thugz

Timeline: First Update

HEY YOU PUKES J/K WHATS UP ITS ME BILL LISTEN I DONT THINK THERES ANY BETTER WAY TO KICK OFF THE SITE THAN TO LIST OFF SOME TRU THUGZ LIKE ME AND KILLDOZER

tru thugz more like truth hugz LOL

DAMMIT KILLDOZER WE'RE TRYING TO BE TOUGH

dang you're right sorry bill

IM SORRY I GOT MAD

DR. BEEZO TOT

HE MIGHT LOOK LIKE A TOTAL DIPSHIT AND HAVE A NAME STRAIGHT OUT OF BABYLON 5 BUT WHEN YOU HEAR WHAT THIS TRU THUG WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOULL SHIT. YOU SEE LATE ONE NIGHT HE WAS SITTING AROUND AND HE WAS THINKING WHAT HE COULD EAT THAT WOULD TOTALLY DISGUST HIS WIFE THAT HE WAS TRYING TO GET A DIVORCE FROM BECAUSE SHE WAS SO EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE. WELL THAT WAS THE NIGHT HE INVENTED RUST PUDDING.

rust pudding the desert of the REAL MAN

DAMN STRAIGHT KILLDOZER. ANYWAY ONE NIGHT HIS WIFE WAS HUMILIATING HIM IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE HE THOUGHT EGGS WERE A MYTH UNTIL HE WAS 15 YEARS OLD. HIS FACE TURNED RAGE RED AND HE WENT TO THE FRIDGE TO PRODUCE A BOWL OF WHAT WE NOW KNOW AS RUST PUDDING, ALTHOUGH THIS PARTICULAR RECIPE WAS ESPECIALLY MANLY DUE TO ITS DANGEROUSLY HIGH LEVELS OF RAT MARROW. HE WENT OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM AND PRACTICALLY INHALED THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF THE BOWL. HIS HORRID WIFE LET OUT A RASPY CRY THAT ALTHOUGH NOT LEGIBLE ENGLISH APOLOGIZED FOR ALL THE YEARS OF MAKING BEEZO FEEL BAD. HIS FRIENDS WERE SO IMPRESSED AT HOW BUTCH HE WAS THAT THEY ALL TOOK OFF THEIR SHIRTS AND JUST RUBBED THEIR WELL SCULPTED TORSOS AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR A FEW HOURS. TEARS OF JOY WELLED IN THE EYES OF DR. BEEZO TOT AND THE DEATH ORGY THAT HIS NEWLY FOUND SELF CONFIDENCE FUELED WAS A TRUE INSPIRATION.

what

RONALD MASON

OKAY SO THE DUDE'S GOT THESE BIG BEEF MUSCLES AND SOME ARTISTIC TALENT THAT WOULD BE THE SIZE OF BABAR IF IT WERE REPRESENTED PHYSICALLY. HIS MIND WAS WARPED AT A YOUNG AGE WHEN HE SAW RAMBO FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE DECIDED TO USE HIS SKILLS FOR BONER REASONS UNLIKE OTHER ARTISTS. HIS SPECIAL ABILITY IS THAT YOU COULD REQUEST A DRAWING OF SOMEONE YOU REALLY WANTED TO SEE NAKED AND ONE DAY LATER HE WOULD PRESENT TO YOU A NEAR PHOTO REALISTIC AND PERFECTLY ACCURATE DRAWING OF THEIR NUDE BODY IN WHATEVER POSITION HE PREDICTED THEY WOULD GET IN AFTER SEEING THE DRAWING. WELL LO AND BEHOLD THIS WORKED WITHOUT FAIL, RONALD MASON WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE NUT OFFS THAN A LOOSE CASHEW TREE.

RONALD MASON BECAME SOMETHING OF A SEXUAL SANTA CLAUS, DROPPING DOWN CHIMNEYS SOMETIMES ON RANDOM EVENINGS BUT WITHOUT FAIL EVERY ARBOR DAY AND LEAVING THE SLEEPING HOME OWNER A PICTURE THAT WOULD GET THE ONE THEY DESIRED TO SHOW THEM EVERYTHING. HE STOPPED BY MY HOUSE A FEW NIGHTS AGO, KILLDOZER. GUESS WHO HE DREW FOR ME?

bill this is getting weird you know i like emilio

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT KILLDOZER? HE DREW ME A PICTURE OF BILL PULLMAN IN THE "BUFFALO BEEF" POSITION.

OH LOL sorry man.

HEY MAN LETS HAVE SOME ICE COLD RC COLAS TO CELEBRATE THE LOLS WE JUST HAD

hey that sounds nice in my ears see you round every1!

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