Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road

First of all, there's one important move you must know if you want to get through Ikari Warriors II without getting completely frustrated with the controls. It's not too obvious, in fact, I didn't stumble upon it until September of last year, and as you saw earlier I spent a good chunk of my life playing nothing but Ikari Warriors II. Anyway, if you hold down the A button (The B button works too, but this works best if you're holding A with Grenades selected.), and move forward, you can fire your B-Type weapon in any direction without having to actually turn your warrior to face that way. As long as you're still holding A, you can also move in any direction without actually losing the position you're facing. This makes things a lot less sluggish, and is a very handy manuver for defeating some bosses.

In every stage, there a shops and challenge mirrors to mix things up like an Ikari Salad. Let's take a look at those, first.


Every stage except the last has a shop. The first stage even has two. Once you pay the price of admission (A meager two hearts.) you can go in and meet with these unsavory fellows. You can buy certain items, or battle the monsters there for extra hearts. They vary increase in difficulty from left to right, the one on the far left earning you the least hearts, and the one on the far right earning you the most. None of them are particularly hard to beat, just get in close using to chuck a few grenades at him, and back off to avoid his projectiles.

Now, the prices and items in each shop vary, so here's a list of what you can get and for how much in each stage.

Stage 1, Shop 1:

Killbolt: 10 Hearts
Stopbolt: 10 Hearts
Jetpack: 20 Hearts
Armor: 30 Hearts

Stage 1, Shop 2:

Arrow: 30 Hearts
Stopbolt: 40 Hearts
Potion: 50 Hearts
Killbolt: 60 Hearts

Stage 2:

Killbolt: 25 Hearts
Jetpack: 25 Hearts
Arrow: 50 Hearts
Potion: 60 Hearts

Stage 3:

Jet Pack: 30 Hearts
Armor: 60 Hearts
Killbolt: 70 Hearts
Potion: 70 Hearts

Stage 4:

Killbolt: 50
Armor: 50
Arrow: 70
Potion: 70

Challenge Mirrors

So every once in a while you may see a little mirror fly onto screen. The first mirror you'll see has a mini game inside, while all the rest are home to different boss fights. You're probably better off just walking past the mirrors, as they don't yield any big rewards and are completely optional, but in case you're still curious, here's what's inside.

Stage 1:

The first mirrior challenge you find is a little skeet shoot game. It's not that hard, just line up your crosshair so it's in the target's path (It doesn't change at all, so you'll only need to move it once.), and time your shots just right. You earn extra hearts if you do well enough.

Stage 2, Mirror 1:

This guy is the exact same as the boss at the end of the stage.

Stage 2, Mirror 2:

This is the same as the boss at the end of stage 3.

Stage 3:

This is the only boss unique to the mirrors. If you have the flamethrower, equip it, get in close, stay out of the way of his shots, and he'll be dead in a couple of seconds. If not, he's actually a little tough. The best thing to do is keep your distance and chuck grenades at him while moving around him in circles to avoid his projectiles.

Stage 4:

Once again, this is just the boss from the end of the stage.

Okay, enough with the riff raff, let's take a look at where the real meat is. The game starts off well enough with this cinema:

What looks to be a short little sequence of screens actually takes a solid three minutes to sit through because each letter appears slowly, one by one. Unbelievable. So now after this, you can choose to start a one or two player game, and if you're anything like me, your social skills are pretty much nil due to the fact you spent seven years of your life being tortured by dobermans, so you're going to be going this alone.

Stage 1

Well, here we are, about to embark on the shittiest adventure of all time. Alright, not Billy Bob shitty but mark my words, after playing it as much as I had to while making this shrine, it's plain to see it's one of the worst non-Action 52 games available. You'll come across a change of weapons pretty quick, but make sure to grab them both before switching to the equipment screen (If you leave one and pause to equip the other, it'll disappear when you return to the main screen.). I recommend using the boomerang for now. Start using the A-Button trick I told you about and start making your way through the stage, tearing through all the Spider Apes and Bumblebads that make the mistake of crossing your path. After that, the rest of the stage is pretty straight forward, so you shouldn't really need any help. Just keep to the right during the first rocky area if you don't want to do the mirror stage, and when you get to the shops, it's probably best to buy the Jetpack and the Arrow. Also, remember that some walls are destructable, so throw, throw, throw those grenades like mad.

Boss #1:

This attractive fellow is your very first boss. If you know what his voice sample is supposed to be saying, please email me because it's impossible to make out. Anyway, what you want to do here is stay near the bottom of the screen, wait for him to move closer, and then move in a bit to throw grenades at him while keeping out of range of his claws. Before long, he'll be dead.

At the end of the stage (As well as every other stage.) you'll find a key and two doors. Grab the key, blow the doors away with the grenades, and take your pick. The path leading to the next stage may be a treasure room or a gauntlet of Bat Bizzares. If there's a way to trigger which one you get, I don't know it, it seems pretty much random to me.

Anyway, if you do get the gauntlet, face your warrior diagonally to the left or right and fire your grenades, while firing your machine gun (You're stripped of whatever weapon you were using before.) in the opposite direction diagonally. The Bat Bizzares come at you from both directions, so this is the best method for taking care of them.

Stage 2

This stage introduces you to the Statuemen, who will welcome you to every stage from here on out. It's not too hard to avoid their shots, but to be safe, quickly switch to the equipment screen and equip the jetpack, as well as the Boomerang, since you also start out every stage with the machine gun equipped. With the jetpack on, you can easily soar past the statuemen's deadly explosive beads. Before long you'll come across a bunch of Macho Mac's. You'll want to be careful around them since they can kill you in one hit, but they're also vulnerable to the boomerang, so just stay on your toes and you'll be fine. Make sure to pick up the Jetpack that's lying around by the stage's first mirror portal, so you'll have one for the Statuemen in stage three.

Oh yeah, watch out for the dark blue portions of the map, those're supposed to represent water and you slow down a bit when you walk in them. Just be a little more careful than you might've been on land.

You might have all of the available items already by the time you get to the shop, but if not, you should probably pick up the potion to be safe. Also, there's a bunch of Bat Bizzare's hanging out behind the shop, so have a killbolt ready if you're unsure of your Ikari prowess.

Boss #2:

Although he moves a little differently, the strategy used on the first boss works here too. Stay away from his claws, and when he gets in close, use your grenades.

Stage 3

For the very first part of the stage, equip the boomerang, but once you get to the first wall, you'll probably want to switch to the flamethrower. This stage is a bit of a maze, you see, and you're going to be taking down a lot of walls, so equiping the flamethrower will be a little more convinient than trying to get the right angle to destroy them with a grenade. You might want to switch back to the boomerang after the shop, though, because you're an easier target for the upcoming Bat Bizzares when you use the flamethrower.

Boss #3:

Okay, if you still have the flamethrower, re-equip it, because it only takes it a shot or two to destroy the little rocks that he fires at you from the front of his mouth. After that, he's pretty much defenseless, so take care of him however you see fit. If not, you know the drill, grenade, dodge, grenade, strawberry le-mon-ade.

Stage 4

This stage is the most straightforward in the game, but the enemies come out pretty fast. Just constantly throw grenades straight ahead and your boomerang diagonally, then you should take them down pretty easily. The shop in this stage is not so cleverly hidden under one of those shelter type things you'll see on your way, so once you find one that can't be destroyed, that'll be the shop.

Boss #4:

Either Flamethrower him to death, or throw your grenades at his head. You'll have to aim them a little more carefully this time, but he's still not too hard.

Stage 5

Okay, here we are! Are you excited? Me neither. But you're at the end, so you may as well continue on so you can tell people, hey, I've beaten Ikari Warriors II. The first part of the stage is pretty easy, but once you get to the staircase shown in the screenshot to the left, either equip the armor or get ready to throw boomerangs like mad in all directions because the monsters come at you like they're looking for an Arbor Day date.

Boss #5:

The second to last boss is similar to the bosses from stages 1 & 2, but there's some obstacles in the way to make him more difficult. Even so, the same strategy applies. I won't hold it against you if you just use the arrow against him. After you beat this guy, move on to meet the final boss.

Boss #6:

HOLY SHIT! It was Zada all along! Amazing! You were just doing all his dirty work for him. Poor Zang Zip. Anyway, Zada can seem a little tough at first, so here's some tips. First of all, the sword doesn't do anything against him, so your only weapon is the grenade. Secondly, you can't use your items, so don't think you're smart switching to the arrow, because it won't work. Third, his kill beads only do damage to you if they hit you head on, the explosions don't do any damage. So, if you can lure him into a position where he only fires them at you straight on and not diagonally, they'll be easy to dodge by side-stepping, and you'll easily be able to throw a bunch of grenades at him. Try and get far away from him, then when he starts moving towards you, line yourself up with him and get close enough to throw grenades.

And after all that, this is the ending you get. Wow.

Section 1: Weapons, Items, and Enemies
Section 2: A visual tour of 5 horrible stages
Section 3: Odds and Ends

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